just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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