I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
