No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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