Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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