A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
