we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
