She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
