We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
