I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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