She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
