just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
