Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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