xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
