Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
