I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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