Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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