You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
