Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
