so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
