CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
fuck your aforementioned shoe
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
