So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
