well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
