My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The dick lei will go down in squad history
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
