at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
