You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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