I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Buhtt sex?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
