good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
