Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
