she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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