I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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