you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
