I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
