I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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