what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
