You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
