Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
