Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
