i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
