just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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