The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
