i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
