im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
this beer tastes like vomit already
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
