How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
