How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
