I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
