I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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