the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
