Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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