dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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