i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
