love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
